A Beloved Blue Genie for D&D 5e

The consternation over Will Smith’s shiny new genie is very upsetting. I love Will Smith. I’d probably die for him.

But it got me thinking about the Genies in 5e. They’re awesome and powerful, but are any of them really lovable?

I think not. And I’m right.

So I present to you a humble morning’s work, in which I got myself over to the Homebrewery and dug this little gem out of the ol’ noggin.

Meet your new favourite NPC

Screen Shot 2019-02-12 at 10.51.58

A more lovable, and infinitely more powerful Genie, just in case you fancy rescuing a lovable street rat in your game.

Find it over at the Homebrewery, and if you like it you can always Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com



Legends speak of powerful magics, personified into humanoid form through the ambitious experimentation of long ago magical scholars. The mages who created these beings were ambitious, but their folly stopped just short of allowing these awesomely powerful beings their freedom.

Aware of the dangers these beings posed, they locked them within mundane objects, bound to go unnoticed by adventurers and other trouble makers.

Genies (a bastardisation of djinni, whose form the mages thought they loosely resemble) may be bound by powerful restraints, but they are not without their own will.

An adventurer who discovers the Genie may discover a powerful ally, and a truly weird friend.

Ambassadors of Creation

A Genie is the the very essence of creation and magical spark in vaguely humanoid form, and they personify that in their every action. They see it as their responsibility to celebrate the joyful, playful side of imagination, and are devastated when they see people using power to hurt others.

As creatures who embody creation itself, Genies naturally tend towards the chaotic, and always embody the good intentions of their creators in their actions.

While they may not always be enthused about the desires they grant their contracted mortal, Genies always want the mortal to be happy, and will play tricks, deploy magics and a large array of snacks to bring this into being.

Infinite Cosmic Power…Itty Bitty Living Space

Most Genies are held in a tiny pocket dimension, contained in a mundane, everyday object like a lamp. This was intended to keep the uninformed away from such huge power.

While they appear mundane, most of these objects were kept by the Mages who created them in very high regard, and so they may appear as strange additions to an otherwise impressive array of magic itmes. Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp.

If a mortal humanoid picks up the mundane object in which the Genie is held, they will appear and state the terms of their contract.

A Contracted Existence

In order to control their creations, the Genies’ creators bound it by a powerful, unbreakable contract. The Genie may occasionally add their own terms to this, from which they cannot be swayed, but the base contract is non-negotiable.

The Contract

The Adventurer who frees their Genie from their prison is granted Three Wishes. This was the Mages’ hasty response to the Genie’s understandable query: “Why do I exist?”

The Genie can only be bound in this contract to one mortal humanoid at a time. And each humanoid can only enter into one contract with one Genie in their lifetime.

The Genie is bound by this contract until one of its humanoid mortal Commanders sets it free.

Fulfilling the heartfelt desires of mortals is the Genie’s purpose. Their enthusiasm for these desires varies dependent on the desire, and sarcasm is their preferred method of displaying displeasure.

  • A Genie will only serve mortal humanoids.
  • A Genie will not perform actions it perceives as harmful or evil.
  • A Genie will use non-harmful methods to restrain or block harmful or evil actions from others.
  • A Genie will not make anybody fall in love or lust.
  • A Genie will not use their magic to kill.
  • A Genie will not bring anyone back from the dead. It’s not a pretty picture. They don’t like doing it.

Other than that…you got it

Get the alternate Genie stat block and PDF at that there link.

And again, if you want to throw me a coffee, do it here: Ko-fi.com/mellanieblack


Uncaged Anthology: Feminist Dungeons and Dragons adventures

Uncaged Anthology is coming! After what feels like literal aeons I can share details of my upcoming work as part of this amazing project.

What are you talking about, Mell?

Well, reader. Uncaged Anthology is a collection of feminist Dungeons and Dragons adventures for 5e in which classic, sexist tropes of myth and legend are turned on their heads.

Part of the pitch process was to outline which elements of my story were feminist. Just so you have an idea of the level of thought that’s been put into tackling the TTRPG community’s questionable track record with such things.

Oh my gods, that sounds great

Yeah? Well it looks even better than that.

Uncaged Anthology

Just look at that amazing cover art by Samantha Darcy. LOOK AT IT.

It’ll be available on DMsGuild.com on March 12th in print and PDF format. Sign up here for pricing and other updates as they become available.

What’s your adventure about, Mell?

Well, it all started when I got pissed off about the story of the Harpy as told in the Monster Manual.

Go look on Page 181 of the Monster Manual right now. I’ll wait.

The Harpy’s story is a beautiful example of how women and their stories have been let down by…well, most accounts of myth and legend, but D&D chose to compound those failings and that’s what Shadows and Talons sets to put right.

We learn all about Fancy McGodpants who cursed the first harpy, but she doesn’t even get a gods damned name. And we’re expected to see this powerful creature as a pining soul, obsessed only with the romantic attentions of a man. She has no agency.

My adventure, Shadows and Talons, fixes that. And some other stuff. Also there’s a cool forest and a creepy temple.

Basically, I’m excited for you to buy the anthology and play along.

Basically what I’m trying to say is:


Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com



I’m still not convinced

Well, you’re wrong, and Satine Phoenix agrees with me. Deal with it.

Satine Phoenix Uncaged Anthology

Btw, did you play test it with some amazing people?

Why, yes I did! Thanks to my play testers, pictured below, mid-debate. And extra special bonus thanks to Bec and Josh, whose amazing gaming table that is.

Uncaged Anthology play testers

Left to right: Mick, Laila, Carl, Matt, Josh and Bec Also known as: Jethro, Taron, Wineskin, Anne, Smashsword and Miri